The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
