evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
