Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
