your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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