i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
