He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
