I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
