So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
