It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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