the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
