She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Send help, water and tortillas.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
