Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
