dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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