Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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