just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize