Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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