New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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