i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
