idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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