yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
