I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
