My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
