Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize