I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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