Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
