Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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