garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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