i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I smell like Dick and happiness
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
