Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
