she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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