i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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