I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
