Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
