Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Porn is love you can see.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
