Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
