You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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