nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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