And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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