O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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