Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
