you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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