Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize