Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
