If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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