he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
