I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
