I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize