we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think my moral compass just broke
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