I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you inspire me to be a worse person
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
