Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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