I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
