How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
