Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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