Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
