i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize