If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
