I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
