Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
