Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
