I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
