Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
