a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just tell him i said nine months
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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