the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
