Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
